Heavy Metal

Where I work we got a guy whose iTunes share is all 80s hair metal. And he's of an age where he'd remember it the first time, a couple of years or so older than me, so he'd have been in his teens when it was around... I was in the preteen years when NWOBHM (New Wave of British Heavy Metal) struck.

Well, tonight watching VH1 Classic with a sleeping kid on me, I watched a succession of heavy metal vids from the 70s and 80s and I'm amazed at a few things. First time around I was quite young. Now I'm in my 30s pushing to 40, I'm seeing it with new eyes.

ONE: The good music still holds up. Even though they culled IN the good tunes (Round and Round, Balls to the Wall, I wanna be somebody) and culled out the Whitesnake/Winger stuff that caused metal to implode in a pile of backcombed big hair and acidwash jeans, the stuff that was good is still quite good. I don't give a fuck who you are - when Bruce Dickinson hits the word "AIR" in Aces High's "Got to get AIRborne, before it's too late" if that doesn't cause a frisson of wow, that was an awesome note to hit, there's something wrong with you.

TWO: Slutty blonde chicks with backcombed hair and LA style chick headbanger gear are hot. Don't give a fuck what you say.

THREE: Jesus, how did I miss the somewhat lesser physical specimenicity of my heroes? The Scorps were half bald, Ronnie James Dio looked like the Crypt Keeper, Blackie Lawless of WASP had gynaecomastia and Bruce Dickinson was five foot one.

Not that it matters - I'd rather wince looking at Jim Croce and hear Jim Croce play than be subjected to Oops I did it again, but still.

Yeah, when that stuff rolled around I wished I was longhaired working class and tough. Listening to it again, there's a part of me that wishes that whole Dungeons and Dragons/Alice Cooper Satanism was still cool.

I went and tracked down an MP3 of Kick Axe. I don't give a shit that they never really made it and the mascot they had was lamer n hell, the singer had a fantastic voice and the guitarist could put riffs together. In looking for info on them I found out the only real resource was some dude out in .cz world (Czechoslovakia?) Jesus.

And sorry, there's times I wished pot was legal, and if it ever becomes so you'll find me in a fringed leather jacket watching the original Heavy Metal film with a Heavy Traffic poster on the wall, listening to Tony Iommi play those classic 70s ass riffs while puffing pot smoke through my handlebar moustache.

I don't smirk at the ICP kids or the Slipknot maggots. Ain't my scene, but I'll admit we had our weirder moments. I've actually backcombed a mullet while asking a good friend (male) "Hey, can I borrow your eyeliner". *facepalm*. Thanks VH1 - I needed a good dose of that nostalgia.